The heartbreak of others.
A couple of my friends are going through a transitional period in their lives. For one of them it is a tough time, for the other it is freeing and liberating. But I feel their loss, their hurt, their questions.
It’s odd, but I feel like a part of me wants to feel what they feel. Not personally and definitely not in my real life, but vicariously through them.
I remember when I used to go through my heart breaks and my periods of “what ifs” and “why nots” when it came to love I found it to be one of the most beautiful periods of my life. Songs played louder, words touched the soul, and my emotions were amplified by the promise and hope of the unknown.
The exact opposite of the feeling does the same – happiness, love, respect. Complete security in certain regards. But it’s different because I’m not used to the “happy” side of emotions. I’ve spent so much time on the other side that sometimes my mind/heart yearns for the known, the familiar.
I visit that place sometimes, letting myself think of sad things and become sad, but it never lasts long. Because it’s so much better on the other side, the happier side, and it is my mind/heart and I have complete control over what I chose to be and what I chose to think of. Who I decide to spend my time on and who I chose to miss.
I wish everyone could realize the control they truly held. But it’s easier to be the victim of what is happening than to be the one responsible for what is happening.