Paying for others Mistakes

It’s amazing how past experiences shape our lives.  It’s amazing what we take away from them, what we learn, what we change, and the ideas we form.

This is done in relationships all the time.  A girl who is cheated on our abused in a previous relationship, will doubt a new suitor (wow that sounds old school), due to the experiences she’s had.  Boys who have been used and taken advantage of will be more weary of what they do, say, feel in their next relationship.

This is also done in parenting.  I remember my parents would punish me or “prevent” me from doing things or participating in activities because that is how my cousin got into some form of trouble.  It was ridiculous.   My father being the youngest of 8 children and my mom of 4 I had plenty of older cousins to make all the mistakes necessary to completely void my social life as a child/teenager.

I’m not saying these things are wrong, or right.  They just are.  Granted they are a bit frustrating, mostly it just intrigues me as to how much we punish people for the actions of others.  We all do it, we’re all guilty of it.

It makes me wonder how much we are missing out on due to this, and what are we really protecting.

The next time you’re judging someone or forming a thought about something due to a past experience, put yourself in their shoes and think about how you would feel if you were being judged or written off due to something that was out of your control.

Personally, I think we all make enough of our own mistakes — we shouldn’t have to pay for others as well.

Just something to think about.

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One response to “Paying for others Mistakes

  1. Life long, people come across people by a million means and many a time will you find that they’re paying for someone’s mistake. It sucks, and it’s pretty unfair. Reality is, with some people, you must go through it in order to learn and adapt. It maybe part of the road on to making themselves or yourself, a better person. It’s a lot like “paying your dues” when you’re at a new job. It’s shitty going through it initially, but most of the time, there is a payoff later on. I, personally, try not to judge people based on their cover. Even after I’ve “read their book”, I try hard not to judge them any less and regard them the same throughout. This feat, admittedly, hasn’t been the case with everyone I’ve come across in my life and that’s simply the way it is. You’ll come across people in life whom you judge based on their cover and/or even after you’ve learned about them some. Relationships, are probably the #1 place people tend to end up paying for someone’s mistakes and all forms of judgments are passed…or sometimes, not. It really depends on the union joined and the people involved, situations introduced, history of each of the individuals, etc. I feel like, once you go through 1 experience where you are the subject of “paying for someone’s mistakes”, you become more compassionate, kind, and appreciative of that person, or the next, and the experience you have with them. You wouldn’t want them to go through that experience if you feel they don’t deserve that. However, sometimes, people put each other through this unconsciously. In fact, possibly out of selfishness. Again, if you’ve been through the experience once, chances are you won’t be on the other end of that stick serving that type of ordeal to someone who understands you and actually cares about “you”, rather than themselves.

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