So I know I’ve missed a lot of posts and that the last update was pretty brief, but it won’t be difficult to keep up.
I am currently employed as a Junior Project Manager/QA at Prime Access, an advertising agency. It’s very different from my previous place of employment. I’m learning a lot of different skills and systems, as well as learning a lot about myself.
This year the company is requiring all employees to fill out a self-evaluation that goes over what your goals were that you’ve reached, and haven’t reached. Where you want to be 1-3, and 5 years from now and what are your long-term goals.
Of course all this is completely “company” oriented, which is fine, but my company goals and personal goals have to line up. My personal goals are my professional goals and they drive my decisions as to what I do and what I don’t do. It’s something I learned at Design Symphony reading a book by Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.
Filling this document out has proven difficult because in the past I wouldn’t have hesitated to tell Joey (my previous employer) the truth. Hell, I sat down with him in November to tell him I was possibly considering leaving Design Symphony. I hadn’t even fully decided yet and he was more than understanding and supportive.
Now before you say “well this is New York” – get over it. Just because it’s New York doesn’t really mean much except that people use it as an excuse, for almost everything.
I don’t care where you live, what you do, or who you are. You have the choice of doing what you want to do and following your dreams. It just all depends on how scared you are when it comes to standing up for yourself.
Which comes to my point, I’m kind of freaking scared. I’ve filled out my report and it’s about 3 pages long. I tried to make it as straight to the point as possible but wanted the reader to know where I was coming from. It is a very HONEST document. So much so that I’m thinking of writing another that is more “company” oriented. “I want to work more hours and less pay” blah blah blah. Okay maybe not that – but you know what I mean.
The concern I have is that if I censor myself now, if I write what I believe is “expected” of me instead of writing what I really feel, what pattern am I setting up for the future. What will that mean for my goals and dreams?
I know you’re probably thinking it’s just an evaluation form, but really it’s not. I’m 23 and depending on how I treat this form will dictate my next few months at this job and impact how I fill out forms in the future.
Being me is so important and I don’t want to lose myself or my beliefs for anything. But when it impacts your pay — what do you do?
Send it as is, fingers crossed, and hoping for the best? Or turn in the robotic report and go back to what I was doing?